Broad's mind

"You won't break your buttocks if you fall on your face" - Original

Bollywood is looking up. It is also asking us to look down and center. And leading the charge are the lascivious, libidinous, lewd, loud, lusty, living-in, long-legged, liposuctioned-lapped leading ladies. So where do we start from? Such is the abundance of estrogenic riches that Bollywood finds itself overwhelmed with. Do we start with that Haryana ke gaun ki ladki, who indeed has a few clothes with her, not sure that it is in her wardrobe though, as few skeletons were found there, eg. the rural legend or urban truth that she was a Lamba or a Puri and not a Sherawat as maintained by her. If it is Lamba, you have to award Kanti Shah for his foresight when he made the eponymous movie, Gunda, and included the telling euphesim for the process of baby production, "Lamba karna". Now I know what he meant. Actually, we won't talk about her. And also not about the nudie in Julie, who didn't mind her hips being called a container by her equally liberated director, for the sake of answering one question in the affirmative; is the oldest profession an art?
We shall talk about a spunky and spiky West Indian instead, who has taken the idea of being "different" to the pinnacle of glory. Enough of Saas-Bahu we said. Take Maa-Beti she said. No we don't want that simpering holier-than-thou-viewers-look we sighed. Look at this regal, legal, familial wrangle, her highness purred. Bollywood has to be different. New ideas should germinate. So, I filed a case against papa and mama for embezzling MY 12 crores, she said. We said, an actress will earn that much, even in generous Bollywood, IF she happens to be a star, IF she happens to be a star-kid, IF she has been around for 20 years. Isn't their money, mine? She quizzed. Good question. Bad education. Her parents deserve it we thought. Every parent deserves it, but alas they send their kids to school.